There’s a new Consul General in town and the straws are out.  By that I mean, it’s “sipsipan blues.” People have been queuing up to do their “curtsy” or “Courtesy Call’ Yep, they’re lining up for that opportunity to splutter their resumes and indulge on their soliloquy,  It’s ring-a-ring time to poor Ceres (the Consul General’s secretary) who has to take the calls and  it’s knock-knock time on the Congen’s door. 

And it goes, something like this:

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  Eva.  Eva who”

“’Eva heard anything about me?”

People do get an adrenalin rush for being just next to a title holder. It’s an irrational lust that leads to erratic behaviour. Perhaps it’s an attempt to give themselves a false sense of importance, though simply stomach churning for observers.  I heard at the St. Mary’s Festival, the Congen’s first community function, the leeches were out in full force and could not be detached from her.  They should have used the fire hose to drag them out.

We’ve seen them come and we’ve seen them go.  Some are nice and some are hmmm, never mind.  However, not all diplomats are worthy of the respect and devotion bestowed upon them.  One newly arrived diplomat has turned some members of the community into an open credit facility, much to the chagrin of those who were hooked in. 

This official has allegedly been pulling the heart strings of the unsuspecting, asking sympathetically to be bailed out of a tight financial situation.  But the official has since been shifted to Canberra and those who have fallen prey are now suffering post natal depression.  If labor pains persist,  a caesarian will be required.

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With Philippine Independence Day just around the corner, people are abuzz with the preparations.  It’s a mad scramble to get the who’s who to go.  There’ll be flags raised from Blacktown to Timbuktu over a month-long period with the same flag groupies.  Why, I have no idea. 

If we were to have any impact, the flag waving should be done simultaneously at the chosen localities unless they’re keeping tab of the number of times they stand next to the Congen.  Oh, Oh, Oh, don’t tell me…it’s spread out over the whole month so that there is an official representative present.  You mean to say, a Filipino is not an official representative?

As for the gala balls, there are choices this year.  For $70 you may go to the Filipino Australian Movement for Empowerment (FAME) at Rooty Hill RSL on the actual Independence Day (June 12)  itself.   Sayas and his APSL group have opted for Bowman Hall on Saturday (June 13) and for $35 you may join them.

Now, the Philippine Community Council (Peeceecee) will be having theirs at Rosehill Racecourse on Saturday, 13 June with a price choice to suit your pocket.  As their invitation says, “The cost of attendance is $75 or $85.”  One would hope that it’s not just the attendance and that the price tag comes with food. 

For $75, that’s like general admission,  you probably are closer to the kitchen or the door which means you could quietly slip out when bored and would only get to hear those assigned to mumble the greetings. 

For $85, you get to sit somewhere in the middle of the room and get to see how bored those behind you are or get amused with the theatrics of those in ringside. 

Ahhh, and ringside is $95! For that you get to sniff some dignitaries in the hope that the scent rubs off or stays on.  That is, if it’s not defeated by the smell of the horses (not roses) at Rosehill.  And if you’re one of those with a swishing, long, flowing gown, you just may be the lucky door prize winner, as you scoop the horses’ dung  somewhere between the car park and the main hall.

Lights, camera, action – and by the way, what’s for dinner?

Knock, knock.  Who’s there?

Eva. Eva who?

Oh well, for what it’s worth….’eva good weekend!